Back to disarray

The past two weeks have been something short of crazy.

I went into denial about leaving Miami, and I am still sad to leave home. I think the big lurking problem is that home isn't going to be where I live in a few years. It freaks me out. I'm pretty sure my quarter-life crisis is on its way. I'd give it a year or so till it hits full-force.

I drove up to Gainesville on Saturday night. I stayed with my grandbig, who had this lovely idea, so my energy would be saved for the next day. It turned out to be a brilliant move, as I was able to get my room semi-organized, plus my stuff out of storage. On Monday, the mom came and helped me set up more stuff. She had the same frustration with our new loft furniture as I did, despite her not having to sleep in a bed that gives you less than 2 feet of headroom between the mattress and the ceiling. Yesterday, I finally managed to get things 100 percent situated. The accomplishment was a great success in my book.

Today started Pi Chi Spirit Week. Being told to just bring a bathing suit and towel, I rightfully assumed we were going to Ginnie Springs. After doing some group bonding activities, we did a nice little float down the river. Until Wednesday, we have some serious days ahead of us. At least it beats doing walk outs at the sorority house.

Ten to go

Well, looks like it's time for my weekly update. I'll make it a quick update.

Wednesday I learned I had no cavities, had lunch with my dad and saw my grandparents. I'm not totally sure what I did on Thursday or Friday. It probably involved a lot of looking down at the beach and a lot of junk TV. Oh, and I also got a ginormous package of clothing I ordered online. Yahoo for that.

Saturday, I went to a high schooler's 17th birthday after work. Yes, you read that right. A friend's little sister had a birthday kegger and us older kids were there to "supervise." It was strange. I felt old and experienced. Mer.

Sunday, I had the delight of closing at work. On Monday, I returned a good half of the clothes I ordered since they didn't fit (which was actually my original plan - go me!) I also went to a bookstore to get some books. That last sentence was really redundant, sorry. But anywho, I hadn't been in a bookstore just to browse in forever. I really enjoyed it and need to make it a point to go once back in Gainesville as an escape.

Yesterday, I read by the pool for a bit and then went with my mom to my grandparents'. We ended up finding a little dachshund running around, played with it for awhile, decided to call it Frank, watched it try to hunt lizards and introduced it to splashing around in the lake, all to have it taken away by his fat little owners who didn't even thank us for taking care of him. Rude. On the bright side, I got empanadas and arepas to bring home.

Today was simple. I slept too late in between waking up from really weird dreams, hung out on the beach for a bit, made a cake using a recipe that used to be a favorite in high school and finished up some involvement applications. I should be going out, but the limited luxury of my couch and the proximity (or lack thereof) of my condo keeps me in. I go back to Gainesville in 10 days and am not ready to leave home.

I swear, nearly once a day, I go "I should update my blog." And then I don't. I don't know why I don't either. I suppose on my next one I will be better. I think part of the reason is this is a things-I-did blog, not something that I just scribble on.

By the way, I've decided to start a separate blog once my Facebook account is activated again, given that this blog purely had the purpose of documenting a summer that I couldn't share through obnoxious status updates and too many pointless photographs. Prepare for a new link to be posted on Bid Day.

Bittersweet things

This weekend was spent in Gainesville, seeing friends and doing general college town shenanigans. It was good to see everyone, as usual, and to appreciate what they've come to mean to me. Also, after our Ginnie Springs trip, we reflected on if there will ever be another time in our lives when we will load up on school buses full of a pallet of Natty's and float down a river for a few hours, just enjoying ourselves and the moment. Our conclusion was no, we have 2 more years to do all this and we better enjoy every remaining minute on it.

So bittersweet, but it made me so excited to go back in the fall. I'm looking forward to truly taking advantage of what's left of my college career. Especially given that I was asked a good 3 times at a Friday latenight if I was a freshman. While I had to tell the nice little frat boys that, no, I was actually their elder, it also brought to my attention that I better use my youth while it's still there.

Now, I'm home and sick. No bueno, but I think that now I've gotten through the first 48 hours of it, my sinuses are starting to regulate themselves again. I know you really wanted to read all that, sorry.

My nose might also be on the breathable side now because I started bawling while I was watching a movie involving a kitty that looked like my old one. I miss George. A lot a lot a lot. And as much as I keep pushing for a new one, he was a special one and always will be. It still makes me upset that we had to leave him at my old house, but I just imagine he's happier there than he would be cooped up in the condo.

I've spent a good majority of this night sitting on my balcony, watching all that is Miami. This view has become one of my favorite things in the world. You can see all the cars like ants, watch the weather rolling in, the ocean always churning in the background. I intend to enjoy the last 2 1/2 weeks I have of it.

Just myself

I've realized that this summer has led to a lot of alone time, just me sitting and thinking and wondering. I made an effort to detox from the bad things around me, and I think it's working pretty well. While I wouldn't exactly say that I'm joyous about the state of things that surround me and my life right now, I am proud to say that I do know what will make me happy. I just need the right surroundings and the right opportunities.

Suffice it to say, I think that's what matters most - knowing what you need, figuring out what you want and making yourself capable to achieve it, all with a dose of sensibility and a dash of optimism.

On that note, with all my musings, I've really embraced my creativity. I don't want it to go away when I become a part of the college crowd mentality again. I'm definitely going to make an effort to remain an indivudal, while still keeping my fratstar shining. Also, I've realized that this blog has been more of a page from my iCal than anything else, so I'm going to make an effort to get a little more personal and more frequent during my last month of writing on here.

That's another dilemma - I want to keep blogging, but I feel that this one's purpose - to document my summer without Facebook - will be done come Bid Day. Do I start another one? Should I just change the title of this one and keep going on here? If anyone has any ideas or comments, help me out please. I'm a bit baffled with what I should do. But, on the bright side, I don't have to make a decision till August 25th. I guess time is on my side this time.

Improvement

This past week, while not a full-blown excitementfest, has managed to be better than the previous ones. I'm waking up, I'm moving, I'm getting things (kind of) done.

Wednesday, I visited the Abuelos in the late afternoon. I was running early, and my grandmother was running late, but it ended up working out perfectly. I decided to go in their backyard, to go explore around the lake, like I used to when I was little. While the tadpoles aren't there anymore, I did get to find some baby turtles hanging out by the shore. Then, I was fed empanadas and arepas, and I got some to go. Nomnom. After that, I stopped by my dad's to visit and eat dinner over there. On the way home, I managed to have perfect timing to see my old friend Christin. She's living in Coconut Grove now, and I found the perfect parking spot, like it was destined. It really was so good to catch up with her, it had been a good year or so. We spent a good 2 hours talking about life and what we'd done and what we're going to go. It felt really good to be connected again.

I don't really remember what I did Thursday. Guess it wasn't that big of a deal. Friday, I had a momdate. We browsed through some stores on Lincoln Road, ate dinner at Van Dyke's and sawGet Him to the Greek. We had to give it a bit before we could both laugh out loud sitting next to one another.

Saturday was a busy day. My body decided that 8 a.m. was a good time to get up. I rolled around in bed before I had to get up. I met up with Sam and her friend Caitlin at the Red Bull Flugtag downtown at Bayfront Park. It was ridiculous, and exactly as the commercials show it. Again, just utter ridiculousness - people put so much time and money into building huge contraptions, only to dance around them and then crash them into the water below.

Eventually, we couldn't stand the heat any longer (it was hottttt) and headed our separate ways to go home. Jorge and Lea had been at the event, so they met up at my place, where we hung out and went swimming in the ocean. After they left, I took a pleasant little nap while it rained. Later that night, I went over to Christin's for a girl's night. Wine, sappy romantic comedies, brie, brownies and good friends full of thoughtful discussion really made it a success, and I came home relaxed and ready for a fitful night's sleep, something I had really been needing.

Sunday was spent at work, and Monday, I ran some much-needed and badly-put-off errands. Today, I enjoyed the sun, something I've been neglecting to take advantage of. I have less than a month of summer left, and it's starting to freak me out. While I'm ready to get things moving and shaking again in Gvegas, I also know how badly I'm going to miss home.

Nothing to show

As my title hints, I have no idea what I've really been doing since my last post. I've fully divulged into summer mode, and I think it's about time to stop. My mornings are drawn out, usually lasting a good 2 hours+ from the time I actually wake up. Then, I do a lot of putzing around and musing through my thoughts. Unfortunately, this does not lead into any productivity. So, I'm going to make a better effort for the next week to actually do something with all my free time.

Friday, I worked in the evening and then went to Jackie's for a formal evening. Formal is really code for playing dress-up, but it was something to do, and the creativity even extended to getting sandwich and chicken finger platters. It ended up being really cute and a good time, and it was nice to see everyone in their fancy stuff, given that the next event where such a large number of friends being all dressed up together will probably be somebody's wedding in a few years. Personally, it made me reminisce about our bar mitzvah weekends in 7th grade, especially when the kitchen turned into a makeshift dance floor.

On the glorious 4th, I went over to the Gbig's for what we retitled a "casual dinner party," given that the small number of people meant too much food and actually sitting down at the table. When we started doing fireworks, more people trickled through. It was great seeing her when she was down, and I'm always amazed at how close we lived to each other, how we were involved in similar things throughout high school and, yet, we never knew each other. Weirdweirdweird. Overall, 4th of July weekend was a no biggie for me, with too much time spent on the Internet looking at all the sales. I got my obligatory grilling in the night before, as the mom's bf and his kids were back down for the weekend.

On the bright side, I'm supposed to get packages for the next 3 days from my little online spending spree. I love packages, but I think everyone does.

Homebody

Since I last wrote, I've realized I've been nesting.

I have no idea why, but I've been overcome by a desire to clean things, cook, to beautify my room, to change where things are in my room and to just generally wallow in nostalgia. I realized on Tuesday that part of this may be because I'm truly entering into the "adult" stage of my life - I can't deny that I'm not a kid anymore, and I'm going to be out in the real world pretty soon. I've been doing a lot of reflecting on what my friends, new and old, mean to me and the ways I've changed since meeting them. Plus, today starts my third month of love life detoxing, which was originally supposed to just last through May. It accidentally kept going, so I guess I'll be unarguably mentally, emotionally and physically prepared for new happenings once I get back to Gainesville. Add to that the realization that this is most likely my last long summer at home, and I've been an emotional wreck. The nostalgic whim of kissing off kidland even made me start a bucket list late one night. Oyvey.

So, aside from my ludicrous emotional turmoil, nothing too big, event-wise at least, has been happening. Sunday evening, after my last post, DG had people over for a potluck dinner. So sophisticated was the verdict on this idea. It also made us feel old. See, I can't escape this transition anywhere I go. Anywho, dinner was great and seeing old friends was fantastic - we had interesting conversations ranging from who's getting pregnant from high school to international lovers. Classy stuff, really.

After, I saw another group of friends and we all watched the Entourage premiere together. I was happy, as I didn't even know the show was starting again so soon. Monday, I overslept. And since, I have been doing too much of that. It probably didn't help that I was at work till nearly 2 a.m. that night and, consequently, slept till 1 in the afternoon the next day. Luckily, Wednesday night I wasn't kept so late, but my sleep schedule is still ridiculously (and frustratingly) out of whack. Plus, when I do finally get to sleep, it's a lot of tossing and turning. I'm waiting for the crash to come soon. And honestly, I'll be relieved once it does. I'm sick of waking up in the middle of a crazy dream and being groggy for the rest of the day.

Friend profile: Nora

So, I've been meaning to do this for awhile - give you a taste of who my friends are. Quite simply, they will be Friend Profiles. Easy as pie.

Truthfully, I had this one all set up. However, my phone ran out of texting memory, so I completely forgot that my Q&A sesh with Nora was on there, and, consequently, I deleted all the information you are about to read below. So, a big thanks to Nora for letting me ask her mundane questions about her life and her willingness to answer, again.

This is Nora. She is really excited to be my first profile on my blog. Don't be fooled, that smile is total enthusiasm.

Nora and I met our freshman year at UF, walking home from some fratastic event. We drunkenly learned about each other, and I thought she was crying about some boyfriend who got sent to Mexico. Later on, we became better (sober) friends, and she clarified that he moved to New Mexico. Whoopsies. She's now one of my best friends. We had the foundation that most college best friendships have start with, apparently.

Here are some tidbits about her:

Hometown: Chicago

Lives in: Coral Springs (when not in Gvegas with me)

Status: Taken

Major: Advertising, Minor in Busiess

Fave animal: Wolf

Fave song: "Something" by The Beatles

Best trip: Going to Greece

Pet peeves: Incorrect grammar

Fave place: bookstores

Pets: 2 dogs - Buddy and Daisy, Rex the fish

Ideal guy: Bad boys, ie: tall, skinny, tats, outgoing, chitchatty

Fave color: red

And now, some pictures of Nora and me doing, well, whatever it is Nora and me do. Mostly rage and dress up in ridiculous things and make fun of people who aren't cultured and talk about how much we want to be in the real world or at least just have a real apartment so we don't have to deal with crazy, screaming girls.

Nora and I both used to be emo kids back in the day. So, instantly, we bonded together in our Lily-littered world. To confirm our friendship, we went to a Dashboard Confessional concert together.

Nora and I have become Team T&A when out. We know how to emphasize our assets.

Going through the past 2 years of photos of us together, I am quickly realizing that Nora is always appearing on my left. Literally, always. This is a strange phenomenon.

Last summer, our friendship strengthened significantly when we went to Bonnaroo together. We decided it was our chance to change sorority stereotypes, one adventure at a time. We now use it as a pick-up line for frat guys.

Nora has visited me in Miami a few times. After her last visit, we realized Nora is too much for Miami to handle. But it's okay, I still love her for it.

Week in review

Sorry about the delay in writing. The past week's been full of guests and happenings, and, in all honesty, requires more than one post with all my musings to keep a reader's attention.

So, here are the basics of what's been going on.

Monday, Anna and Melissa came into town. They got here with no problems, which I was secretly worried about after JuMo's and Brita's SB09 Alligator Alley Breakdown Adventure (they were towed 100 miles to North Miami Beach and rode in the cab with a very Germanic, very large tow truck driver we decided would be named Hans or something of the sort.) They got to settle in and Chris, Greg and Peter came over for some beach playtime and BBQ-ing. The water was nice and warm, and the burgers ended up being delicious.

Tuesday, we had a dive booked and got up early to scuba in Key Largo. Less than 20 minutes before our dive boat was supposed to leave, and when we were less than 5 miles away from the docks, we got a call saying it was too windy and visibility was poor. They cancelled our dive, and we were already down there. So, we made the best of it and showed Anna around and did some exploring. We went to the Rain Barrel, an artist gallery, where my mom and I always used to stop by when I was little, and then we had lunch at Snapper's. On the way home, I took them through Pinecrest, Coconut Grove, Downtown and South Beach to give them a real taste of where I grew up.

That night, I took them to Greg's, where a bunch of friends from high school were hanging out.Introducing them to everyone and explaining how I knew everyone, I realized just how far back into my childhood some of these kids go. It's crazy, and what made it more relevant was the night before, photo albums from middle school were pulled out. We've come a long, long way and we've gotten a lot older, but we've all managed to keep in touch and enjoy the times we have together. It's crazy, but crazy in a good way.

Wednesday, we beached it for a little before Melissa and Anna headed back up to Sarasota for the night. We apparently were out in the water a little too long, as my face turned a bright red on the way to work. Damn those deceiving overcast clouds. Thursday, I putzed around doing some errands and sale shopping, took the mom and her bf to the airport and then had Jorge over for dinner. I showed off just how (apparently, really surprisingly to everyone, as my sorority sisters kept commenting on it) domestic I was, and I cooked chicken parmesan. I was really excited to have a chance to use my new pink leopard print cupcake papers. Michael's apparently has a variety of different papers in cool designs, and they cost even less than the basic ones you get at Publix. I'll definitely be stocking up on all their patterns.

Friday was Me Day. Basically from Bonnaroo on, I had not had a day to myself, and boy, did I need it. I got stuff done around the condo, relaxed fully, picked up sushi for dinner and fell asleep watching movies. The next day, I woke up in a joyous mood from it. The rest of the day, I got in a good workout and did some swimming and reading. I went to the abuelos' for dinner, and I really enjoyed my time there. As I noted before, I have started to really value my relationship with them as I get older, and I learn more and more about what amazing people they are. Also, this is going to sound totally materialistic juxtaposed with that previous line, but my love for jewelry is not lost on them, especially stuff that my grandfather gave to my grandmother and has such sentimental, priceless value. Last night, I was given a ring that my grandmother was given by her sister. It's absolutely gorgeous and classic.

Like I said, I feel very plastic adding that little bit next to such heartfelt comments, but I feel like with whatever present I receive, I get exposed to their love for one another. They've been married for 52 years, and they're both full of wisdom and jokes still. While watching the news with Grandpa, a little clip on Prince Harry's visit came on. Of course, they made a comment about his looks. Grandpa looked over at me and asked, "Do you find him good-looking too?" "Not really. I don't like gingers." I then had to explain what a ginger was. Apparently, my grandpa had a ginger girlfriend at one point in college. She had green eyes, too. But apparently she didn't make that big of an impression. He couldn't remember her name. I ended up spending over 3 hours over there.

After leaving Kendale Lakes, I went to grab ice cream with Marisol in the Gables. It was so good to catch up with her and have some laughs. Today, I've been doing a lot of thinking, but I don't have much to show for it. I'm wondering where the day has gone but, in all honesty, I'm not really concerned about it. While I've been aiming big on productivity lately, it's been nice to have a weekend to just destress and enjoy some time for me and myself only.

Right quick

I have lots to write about and many new pictures, but before I forget...

You can see our Berlin trip projects here. It's a preliminary website, but I keep meaning to post it on here for you all to see.

So, enjoy! And I'll be back with more happenings veryvery soon.

Bites and blisters

First, a side note. I don't know why I can't keep my titles from being two parts. It's like a compulsion to include as much as possible in a snappy little line. Please bear with me as I work on that.

The past few days since my last post have been busy, yet uneventful. Semi-Annual Sale has left me without a moment to breathe when I'm at work, which were long hours from Wednesday to Friday. Friday evening, my mom's bf and his kids came into town for her birthday. We have a lot of people in a small space right now. We celebrated by beaching it on Saturday, then going to dinner at Shucker's. When we BBQ'd on Friday night, I managed to get eaten alive on the backs of my legs. Just a few days before, my ankles finally stopped being swollen to the point of having no visible bones from whatever caused an allergic reaction while I was at Bonnaroo. My poor body can't catch a break when it comes to my Benadryl intake apparently.

Today, I headed over to my dad's to log some Father's Day time and eat some dinner. Before, I stopped at a Victoria's Secret on the way. I really hate shoppy-shopping at my store, where I know everyone at work, exactly what we have, where everything is and can't freely wander without chitchatting with my coworkers. Call it a guitly pleasure, the freedom of anonymity, if you will. Everyone leaves tomorrow and Anna and Melissa are headed down. We're going to go diving on Tuesday, I'm so pumped between the scuba and getting to log some time with them while showing them around Miami. Ridiculously enough though, I can't wait to thoroughly clean this condo during that gap of visitors. I guess you really do become your mother. (And no, mom. That was not a stab at you. That just means that I need things to be clean and orderly, and I inherited that trait from you.)

Since getting back, my running's been a really big high for me. I'm getting to personal bests for myself, and I'm getting close to times and endurance from when I was hardcore about it, when I graduated high school and the summer after. Today, I noticed little blisters, which, while gross, are a sign that I'm actually getting into a habit. It feels good, and I want to keep it up.

To the Roo and back

This past weekend was spent on a farm in Manchester, TN, camping, listening to music and trying to survive the 95+ degree heat. Ah, the greatness that is Bonnaroo.

I ended up going with Marissa, who I studied abroad with in Berlin (and, notably, met only about a month ago), her boyfriend, Simon, and his two roommates, Shane and Jimmy. I drove up to Gainesville on Wednesday afternoon, had dinner with some of my sorority sisters, then drove through the night with my new friends to experience the glorious musical festival. By some luck of fate, we managed to be in the first, prime campsite. We're still not sure how that happened. I could go on and on about every band that I saw, but for now, I'll just say that the highlights were The Flaming Lips' mind-bending show (and it was truly a show, not just a set), Jay-Z and his fantastic audience appreciation and just how much Kings of Leon's Caleb Followill's raspy voice oozes sex when heard live. The heat was unbearable during the day though, as the usual daily thunderstorms were nowhere to be seen this year. Our neighbors were hilarious - all 29 and friends from middle school, one is a father of two, one is a broker and the other was an artist who still lived in his mother's basement and was on too many substances to make sense in most conversations (when asked if he was going to see KOL, his response was "Maybe, maybe not. You just never really know). Seeing all the bands I did, I'm so happy everything worked out and I can't wait for next year.

All packed and ready to go.

Our arrival in Manchester, despite it being 6 a.m.

The great arch of Centeroo.

The group, pre-Flaming Lips madness.

Overall, the weekend was a success, and I feel cleansed coming from it (ironically). Being a dirty hippie child suits me, despite my love of high heels and air conditioning.

Sunday night, we drove through the night yet again. I then took the best shower of my life and crashed for 8 hours in Kelli's apartment. After a much-needed mani/pedi (just to get all the dirt out from under my nails), I had dinner with the Gbig and went out with Melissa, Anna, L-Patz and Ali for a night at Swamp and shenanigans. I missed them soso much. The next day, I took my time getting around, then headed home after lunch.

As much as I wanted to go to a big city for college, like BU and NYU, I'm overall happy with the experience I'm having in a college town. Talking to my grandpa in California yesterday on the drive home, he remarked how happy I sounded and how these experiences are exactly what I need to be doing at my age. While UF sometimes bores me, the game days and the Greek life have really provided me with memories I don't think I would have anywhere else. I truly have fallen in love with my sisters, seeing that I've known them for only 2 years, but they know just about everything about me, no judgements, and I can truly count on them for anything. Gainesville has become home away from home, which I can finally admit after 2 years. While Miami will always hold the No. 1 spot in my heart, after spending half my college years in the Swamp, I'm really looking forward to the memories that are to come these next 2 years.

Simplicity and lists

As I pack for Bonnaroo (yayyyyyyyy!!!), I realized that the places I'm going this summer are carrying the theme of minimalism.

In Berlin, people seemed to take things day-by-day, and, from what I saw, shopped and lived accordingly. They weren't worried about big, lavish homes. They shopped for dinner that night, not loading up for groceries for the week. They didn't have complicated and extremely trendy wardrobes. At Bonnaroo, people camp and, what I learned last year, really don't need too much to be happy. Lots of water, a few clean t-shirts and shorts, PB&J supplies and a little tent to call home were all you needed to camp. Plus, I noticed I was happiest when I had my water bottle in my hand and a camera in my pocket, not when I was lugging around a huge backpack with extra stuff to weigh it down. There are some tentative trips planned, like to the Keys and to Daytona Beach to see the Big, and all I need for happiness is a bathing suit and a beer.

I'm liking this summer more and more because of this mentality that's taking hold of me, I think. If I don't need it, I'm not trying to convince myself to get it. If I don't use it, I get rid of it. If I don't like it, I give it away. If it makes me happy, I'm doing it or holding on to it. While I'm the first to admit that I like luxurious things and I'm a clothes junkie, what I'm keeping around are things I genuinely enjoy and use regularly. And they have a place.

I've been making lists more and more to get things done. "To Do" lists have always been big with me, but the more specific I make them, the simpler they are to accomplish. All I have left on my "Tuesday" list are to clean off my desk and to pack. The desk thing will take 20 minutes, max. I plan on wiping that out as soon as I finish typing this (I was on my way to do it, I just got distracted and grabbed my computer instead.) And packing should be simple - I made a list for everything I need. If it's not on the list, I'm not taking it. Plain and simple.

Lightning storms, sprinkled with choco chips

This past week has been busy, busy, busy. Physically, emotionally and mentally.

Tuesday, I went to Coral Springs for some BFFL time with Nora. Expect a profile on her soon. It was a much-needed getaway, starting with the calmness of getting on the highway for the hour drive. We grabbed lunch, saw Letters to Juliet (for the record, I was outvoted; save it for Blockbuster), made some gazpacho for dinner and I headed home.

It was nice being somewhere I wasn't concerned about running into anyone I may know or dealing with any close-by problems. I've got this mental divide now in my head when I get to the toll on Broad Causeway. I feel like I'm encroaching on someone else's territory and scared who I might see. I'm learning that I'm happy to find places where I can't identify every car in the parking lot. Living on the beach has led to that. Whenever I go back to Pinecrest, I'm astounded about how I know half the people driving by me. It freaks me out a little. It also makes me feel a little disconnected from a world I used to have such a large presence in.

Friday, I didn't have to work, so a mother-daughter evening took place. We saw Sex and the City 2, which I actually thoroughly enjoyed. I was treated to some fabulous single-again shoes after (thanks Mom!), following the rule of the longer the relationship, the higher the heel. I can't wait to actually have somewhere to wear them to. Then, we ate a late sushi dinner. I actually slept pretty well that night.

The other parts of the week were spent working and cleaning out my closet. Work's a bitch, like usual. Last night, I ended up staying for over 8 hours and being charged $15 for parking. I can't wait to get this paycheck to make up for the frustration of being on my feet and dealing with stupid people that long. My big project was a total closet clean-out. It took till Friday to complete. Yes, I have a large closet, and yes, I have a lot of clothes. They're something I truly find enjoyment in. I'm proud to report that the past two years' purchases have been smart ones, as I realized that most of those clothes I wear on a regular basis. I'm getting fashion savvy as I age apparently.

The more I clean, the better I feel. The catharsis is good for me. I'm just scared I'm going to peak out soon, as I haven't been sleeping the past couple nights and my mind is constantly restless. I guess I'll just have to wait it out and see how long it takes to get over all this.

Having, and eating, your cake

Getting back into the swing of things certainly hasn't been what I expected. It's not the usual routine anymore. So, it's more like starting to swing things, with new rituals developing.

Saturday night, after trying to clean my room and a little sun time, was dinner with the abuelos. Going over to see my grandparents has become something I've really learned to cherish. The older I get, the more they mean to me. I always feel like I leave there a little wiser, with some bits of me renewed or found. My grandma has been feeding some baby ducks.

After they were done eating and the big ducks had come to try to get the rest of the bread,

another mommy duck came to see what was up, but she only had two little ducklings.

I wondered what happened to the rest.

Sunday, I started my 4 weeks of fitness. The gym and I are not friends. I felt so short of breath and heavy. I know, eventually, this will stop. I just need perseverance and motivation until then. Yesterday, I felt a little better trying to run and could feel the impact on my legs at work. This is a sign of progress. I just hope to get some spin classes in at some point, because I remember how much I used to love it and how good I felt when I was hardcore about it.

After having a venture at athleticism and reading on the beach, I had dinner at the dad's, where we watched The Lovely Bones. I really need to reread it, as I remember it totally different. Then again, I was so young when I read it, I'm sure I just didn't grasp some of the concepts. Nonetheless, something about child murders and rape always strikes such a nerve of discomfort. It really makes me sick.

After that, I reconnected with everyone at Greg's. It feels so good to be able to look at my boys and know that they've been my best friends since I was 14. While we're not as close as we used to be, it's nice to look back at how much we've all grown and changed - we're all adults now - but we also still have a deep-running love and respect for each other because we've helped each other through our tough times and left childhood behind together. It's a little saddening, but I just pray they'll be there for the next 7 years as well. There's just a level of comfort I feel with them, something that's natural and happy. It really was nice to just sit there and enjoy being surrounded by others, no hold barred and no judgements passed. This made me realize just how far we've come.

It seems that this week, though only Tuesday, has a theme of growing. Hanging out by the pool with friends who I used to carpool with in middle school, I felt lucky to know such great, good, kind people and know how much they care about me as well, even if it's just by nearly everyone asking "Where the hell have you been since summer started?" I missed them more than I expected. While those friendships are a continuation of life, I have to learn to let go of the people who don't want me in their lives as much as I wanted them in mine. It's hard, and this summer may be a little rough because of it, but I know moving on is for the best. I've known this for awhile. I just needed a catalyst to set me running. Last night, I got that. And while it feels like the end of the world and something is crushing my chest, eventually I'll gain the momentum I need, be able to take the big breaths I need, and I'll be back on track again. It's just a matter of keeping busy and clearing the clutter in my path, weeding out the bad, finding the happiness I'm chasing. I'll be able to run again. Maybe not today, or next week, but soon. Change is something I'm ready for.

Home, finally

I finally got back to Miami last night, a little before 10 p.m.

It was a heck of a journey and crashing was inevitable, it happened as soon as I put my body in a horizontal position in my condo.

On the bright side of all my issues and travel changes, I got first-class treatment. Literally. From Berlin to Amsterdam, I flew "world class business," which was the highest level of comfort that the plane offered. Then, on my transatlantic flight from Amsterdam to Atlanta, I flew flat-out first class. Champagne before take-off, seats that you could control which part to adjust, and four-course meals were just part of the perks. I never want to do a long flight in economy again.

Atlanta was a different story. Not so luxurious. I freaked out a bit since my bag never came through the customs baggage claim, and the longer I waited, the closer I came to missing my flight home. They told me it would just end up in Miami, so I ran off to get my boarding pass. I forgot that this is Memorial Weekend, which means South Beach is where all the playas play for a few days. Meaning they all left Atlanta and were all on my flight.

Touchdown in Miami was such a relief after such a long time of travel, and even longer for me - being awake. This morning, it was nice to get a glass of milk that was cold and step out onto my terrace to look at the ocean. At the same time, it was a bit quiet and lonely.

Ohwell, I'll adjust. Now I need to tackle unpacking (ughhh), getting some color back and running, again. I'm going to keep this blog going, till at least August, so I'll keep you updated on how all these things go.

Tchoos, Berlin

It's hard to believe this trip is over.

I'm writing this from Tegel Airport, waiting for my flight. Because of the strike, my original 6:55 a.m. flight to Paris was cancelled, leaving me with a couple hours to try and sleep. Try being the key word. Pulling an all-nighter to sleep on the plane would have worked out great, but I guess it's better to be in this position than hanging out in an airport for 6 hours. Now I'm headed to Amsterdam (unfortunately my layover is too short for any wandering), then Atlanta (fingers crossed though - they won't give me my boarding pass till I get there) and then I'll be back home with one more flight.

I really am astounded that it's been two weeks already. The people I met were overall awesome, and I really hope to stay friends with them (if this applies to you, I mean it.) I'm not totally sure how I feel about Berlin as a city though. There are a lot of pros - all the parks, the alternative and liberal mindset, the history. Yet, there's the weather issue and the general sense of being impersonal and unapproachable. I guess I have some long plane rides to figure it out.

Update: Here are a couple pictures of the last day, which was spent visiting the Reichstag and then having dinner at the TV Tower.

The last day

So, tomorrow is the end of my trip. It really doesn't feel like I've been here for two days. It's crazy.

On the bright side, my project is complete and I'm overall happy with it. It's also a nice relief. We turned them in yesterday at 2 p.m. After that, Marissa and I went to the park so she could go on a seesaw for the first time in her life. It was a fun experience. We also named a ladybug Helga. I thought it was appropriate. The group went to dinner at a biergarten way out in East Berlin, then stopped by the bar Matt had

done his project on in honor of his 18th birthday. Dr. Pong's was our next stop, since not everyone had been.

To backtrack, on Monday some of us went to Potsdam.

I saw my first castle!! Sanssouci was really neat looking and the gardens were gorgeous.

Once back, the group went to see Christoph Neiman, an illustrator who often has his work in the New Yorker and the New York Times. It was pretty nifty. Dolores, a Mexican restaurant, followed that, then I went to work on putting my project together.

Learning the streets

Since my last blog post, I feel as if I'm seeing Berlin's true colors, all that it is. A big part of this may be that the weather's cleared up and I can wear my flip-flops now. Between my last post and now, I feel like we've been getting off the beaten path to see the interesting parts of the city.

Thursday, some of us journeyed to eat the much-talked-about Pink Flamingo pizzeria. I then tagged along with Marissa and Matt to see the Wall again. When I got home, I had gotten an e-mail back from a potential subject - Michael, a musician and DJ from Ireland. I was so happy and relieved that he seemed to have a general interest in what I was doing. Later that night, we took advantage of some of the public museums being free for the evening. No one was very impressed, but at least I can say I've been there. More importantly, at least I didn't have to pay to be bored.

On Friday, some of us decided to keep up the cultural thing and headed over to the Frida Kahlo exhibit. The work was really intriguing, and they had everything written in Englis

h as well as German, which made it a whole lot more interesting and easier to understand.

After that, Jesse and I decided to just explore around Kreuzberg, the district the museum was in. We ended up walking around for a couple of hours, discovering bunnies on trails and playgrounds, until we decided to pull out a map. Turns out, we had pretty much walked the entire neighborhood from north to south.

That night, I met up with Michael at the bar he was DJing at, then magically found everyone on the way back. Karaoke followed. Germans are really serious about their karaoke.

I got a late start on Saturday, as I was meeting with Michael at 1 p.m. I got to take pictures of his apartment and studio, as well as interview him more about life in Berlin.

Once the group got back from seeing the Sachsenhausen Concentration Camp, we headed to see the Karneval der Kulturen at night. There was such a diverse crowd and so many different vendors, both food- and clothes-wise. Marissa and I decided to try a club that multiple people had recommended, and we had a blast. The highlight was probably hearing 99 Luftballons mixed in with Michael Jackson, Ace of Base and Elvis Crespo. Today, we wen

t back to the festival for some lunch (I got some empanadas) and the huge parade.

One week down

The past few days have gone from a whirlwind of activity to a slow and do-it-yourself pace.

The bike tour was amazing. For four hours, our guide, Karissa, showed us the more alternative side of Berlin. This city has definitely become more appealing since then. We stopped by the river to get lunch and then continued to bike around for another couple hours, seeing squats and this great park with adorable little Berlin kids playing around. Thank god the bikes’ seats were comfy, as the tour was nearly five hours. After we all got refreshed, most of us went out for dinner and we laughed the whole way through.

Tuesday started our slower free-time days. I went with Marissa to an Irish pub, where she found her subject and we had lunch. That night, we went to Qi. The only word that can sum it up is a musical extravaganza. There were lots of disco songs, lots of sparkly outfits, lots of crazy acrobatics and lots of suggestive dancing. After, we went to see Tacheles, an abandoned building that is full of artists. The place was really cool, and I definitely want to go back there. Our last stop was back to the pub to see the band they had playing.

Yesterday was a slower day, as we got up late and I went on a hunt for a subject. I’m not exactly convinced that I have one yet. A travel agent was willing to be interviewed and his English is beyond good, so I’m hoping he has some interesting quirks that make the project stand out. If not, I’ll go into panic mode. I have some potential people, but they don’t seem as willing and harder to get in contact with. I’m hoping something spectacular falls into my lap.

The rest of the day was spent walking around, then going to a group dinner, where I had the spiciest salad of my life. After trying to see the Reichstag (they close at 11 p.m., but stop letting in people an hour before) we saw Marissa’s subject’s band, the Acoustic Warriors, back at the pub. They weren’t exactly a crowd pleaser. We finally made it to Dr. Pong after, which was the most unique place we’ve seen thus far. A true Berlin-only experience, every player runs around a ping-pong table, beer in hand, and if you miss, you’re out. Eventually, the four or five people left are running to keep up. It’s been decided that our group is going to reunite and make it a craze in Gainesville.

Walking the city

After a rest at the hotel (and me temporarily passing out), I grabbed a bite to eat at a little trendy restaurant with Michelle and Marissa. The Germans really like their asparagus, as everything on the daily menu contained it. This was okay with me, as I realized I needed some veggies.

Sunday was a long day. We had a guided walking tour which lasted about four hours. The sites we saw were amazing though. I am dying to go back to Museum Island and look at all the exhibits all the different museums have.

We got to see some Nazi buildings, as well as the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe. In America, we learn about the Holocaust in almost every history class from middle school on. Meanwhile, in Germany, they try not to call attention to the horrific events which occurred here. The site of Hitler's bunker was apparently unmarked up until a few years ago.

Our guide, Kristen, was able to offer a personal view on the Wall falling, as she was about 9 when it happened, and she lived in the East. We got to see Checkpoint Charlie and ended in "the most beautiful plaza in Berlin" (I am still trying to figure out its name.)

After lunch at a little cafe, we took a long train ride to a lake outside of Berlin. Luckily, the weather had let the sun come through and it was gorgeous and green. We waited around for the ferry to take us across the lake, where there were lots of people sailing. After we got to the other side, we stopped in a scenic biergarten. I'm really enjoying our group, as everyone's got a great sense of humor and is up for having a fun time. We then had a misadventure of switching from a bus to a train to get back to the hotel, but we made it home okay.

We stopped in Alexanderplatz for a late dinner. Here, we found all these rollerbladers. Looking a little more into it, apparently it happens once a month and a drink called Bionade seemed to be sponsoring it. I do not recommend it. We walked around the hotel's neighborhood for a bit after that, had biers at midnight in the lobby to celebrate Jesse's 21st birthday then decided to call it a night.

Today, Stephanie, a TIME Magazine correspondent, came to speak to us and give us some story ideas. I'm really wanting to do a young parent, as we are right next to a neighborhood with the highest percentage of children in Berlin, if not Germany ( I'm looking into that.) Now, we're off to do a bike tour around the city. More on that later.